Welcome to the Baltimore Beltway Bus Bonanza!
For the next hour, traffic permitting, we're going to take you on a 49 mile loop loop around Baltimore, and across 4 of our 8 great Maryland Congressional Districts. Here's a map, with the points of interest along the way. This bus is equipped with seatbelts, so fasten them up, and pull out your map and the congressional bingo sheets and keep score as we drive.
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Right now, to get us started, we're at A, the exit ramp on I-695 for I-95 south, north west of Baltimore. We're gonna drive clockwise around town, and since 695 doesn't actually make a loop, we'll do as best we can and start by going south on I-95. You with me? Please sit back and enjoy the view.
Alright. We're starting in MD District 2, represented in the US Congress by Rep. Dutch Ruppersberger [D]
... 5 minutes later
Ok folks, the split for 895 is coming up here at B, we're gonna stick with 95.
... 1 minute later
Hey - there's C, Rt 40, and - MD District 3. District 3, whose congressman is Rep. John Sarbanes [D] borders district 2, that makes sense of course.
... 1 minute later
Just crossing Rolling Mill Rd now at D, back in District 2...
... 3 minutes later
Hey look below, 895 joining us again and Poncast St coming up at E - back in District 3 everyone.
... 5 minutes later
Now, under the tunnel we go, and look, there's F, the 395 interchange heading into the city - and - hey, we're in District 2 again... Ain't it fun?
Wait no, we're already at G and now we're in District 3 again. Hm. They must have drawn districts 2 and 3 so that 95 wove them together or something.
... 3 minutes later
Alright, H: I-695 is coming up, we're heading north.
... 1 minute later
We're now at I, passing Rt 1 and leaving MD District 3, entering District 7, home to Rep. Elijah Cummings [D]. If you need to use the facilities in the back of the bus, this is the time to do so, this is the longest break we'll have on this trip and you don't want to miss anything, now do ya! You know, I've always thought District 7's shape kinda looks like a small dog with a large head yipping at the mailman. You see it?
... 10 minutes later
Alright, wake up folks. Millford Mill Rd comin' up here at J, - you know it's funny - we're still in District 7 - but folks - those living both east and west of us are both in our old friend District 2. But don't worry, we'll get you out of District 7 soon.
... 50 seconds later
Here we go - K, passing by the I-795 exit ramp, we're gonna stick with 695 for the rest of our trip, but hey, at least we're back in our home district, District 2.
... 1 minute later
Wait - sorry, (L) the I-795 entrance ramp is joining us on the right, and we're now in District 3 again.
... 6 minutes later
We're now at M on your map, folks. The people joining us on the right here, they are coming out of Baltimore on I-83. If you look to the left you'll see District 2, but on this side of the freeway we're still in District 3. But have patience, we'll join them soon.
... 2 minutes later
Sure enough, we're at N, and here on the right are the folks joining us from I-83 southbound, leaving District 1, 2, or 7 - who knows which district they came from up there - wave hello, and hello to District 2.
... 2 minutes later
We're now passing Rt 146, Dulaney Valley Rd, O on our map. The area immediately to the left (or North) of the road is Hampton - those folks are in District 1, represented by Rep. Andy Harris [R]. District 1, by the way, is MD's largest district, area wise, and stretches all the way south and across the Potomac down to Ocean City and beyond.
... 4 minutes later
P for Perring Parkway, Rt 41, coming up, We're now in District 3 again.
... 4 minutes later
And here we are at Q. We're all the way home again, passing Lillian Holt Drive, we reenter District 2.
Thanks for joining us, it's been a blast - in and out of 4 congressional districts 12 times in only 50 minutes - that's gotta be some kind of record, huh folks?
Don't tell poor Rep. Andy Harris [R] of District 1, though - it takes him 5 hours and 20 minutes to just to drive from one end of his district to the other, staying within his district:
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And don't even get Rep. John Sarbanes [D] of District 3 started on the cost of gas, he has to spend an entire work day crisscrossing central Maryland to get to his constituents:
View Larger Map
Thanks again, folks - Don't forget to leave a tip for your poor congressman and state delegate, if you can figure out who they are, and be sure to thank them for creating such an interesting form of democracy in our fair state - your souvenir map is available at http://planning.maryland.gov/Redistricting/redistrictingIMap.shtml.
Oh, and before I forget:
Vote No on Question 5 on election day
More:
Baltimore Sun Editorial, October 21, 2012: Against Question 5
From http://www.elections.state.md.us/elections/2012/ballot_questions.html:
Question 5 - Congressional Districting Plan
Labels: failure, politics, rant, silliness
